I really shouldn't blog after nine pm

They should seriously make caffeinated Sprite... That would be amazing.

I have no idea what's happening lately.

My family, my friends, my relationships with certain people, 

I just don't understand. 

I'm glad its Christmastime, but it's a blessing & a curse

Because no one likes to be alone.

I miss summer. 

I miss the way I felt,

The way things were.

I didn't have regrets this summer;

It was utter freedom, pure joy.

I miss my best friend,

After this summer we haven't spoken much.

It's not very cool.

I'm so insanely bored, I think I might just fall over from complete nothingness.

Dunno why like four people randomly stopped texting me?

It feels later than it actually is.

Maybe everyone went to sleep.

Maybe the world's asleep.

Maybe I'm asleep.

Today was good.

Tonight, not so much.

I actually kind of wish it would end.

But I hate going to sleep feeling weird.

So Imma stay up, hoping something great will happen.

Might just watch a movie and drink some Sprite.

Wish it were caffeinated.

k,bye guys

I swear that you don't have to go; I thought we could wait for the fireworks

I've totally been throwing myself into my music lately, it's kind of nice. I've missed playing,
I feel like myself. It's a nice change of pace, I don't really understand why everything's been going the way it has. But with music, when I play, it pauses. Just for three or four minutes, time stands still and it's me and my lyrics. I've always been better at writing lyrics rather than stories. They are my stories, but they're for myself. At least that's how it's been, but then I posted a few of my songs online, and after getting a good reaction, I've been meaning to post more. It's just very time-consuming but I wish I would spend more time on it. Its just when I sit down to play, or write, I realize there's homework I have to do and my room could be cleaner. Or it's late and I should sleep. Or my parents need me. Or my brother's knocking on my door every three minutes. It's exhaustinggg. But I missed music. It's always kind of been my life. I regret losing it these past few months.

In other news, life is hard. People let me down, I'm super stressed.

Music & Jesus, totally my life right now.

I swear that you don't have to go; 
I thought we could wait for the fireworks,
I thought we could wait for the snow.

Lately;

Lately it's almost as if I'm avoiding something. I don't even know what it is.

Lately I don't know what's going to happen, and I understand I'm not supposed to, it's just that I need a little direction; I feel lost.

Lately I've listened to a lot of rap music,

Lately I eat out too much.

Lately I can't tell what you're thinking, and it drives me crazy.

Lately I fell as if I'm not smart enough, and that everyone knows it.

I guess all in all I'm happy, right?

But lately I'm wondering if by chasing happiness, I'm just chasing my tail.

I don't get itttt.

Freedom :D

I got my license yesterday... talk about WIN. I got a perfect score on my driving test, (in Illinois you take the written test when you're fifteen, so I didn't have to do that.) and my picture turned out awesome. I got to go run errands for my mom for like two hours, BY MYSELF, where I controlled the radio, I decided where to go and what to buy, it was perfect.

It did take a couple extra weeks to get my license, which was stressful, but now that I have it, it doesn't even matter. :)

AND, my Edge meeting last night went really well, I'm really excited for tonight.
(To those of you who don't know, Edge is our middle school ministry at church, every wednesday night I work with them. Leading small groups, giving talks, depending on the night.)
Tonight's night is about Masks, getting them to think about who they really are, and if they're being themselves around others, to put it simply.

Other than that, I'm out of things to blog about. I need to go homecoming dress shoppinggg,, maybe friday? I dunno.

Thanks for listening.

P.S. Boys are still weird.