At the end of the day, boyfriend or no boyfriend, I can go to sleep satisfied because I never. lost. hope.

Here we go, most dreaded day of the year. I've only had a boyfriend on valentines day once, but that was in like eighth grade and he didn't even get me anything.

I can't honestly try to explain what today means, or what it's really about, all I know is that if you're a good boyfriend/husband/fiancé it should just be a day where you get to spoil your girlfriend/wife/fiancé even more than usual.

But for me it's usually just another opportunity to make me feel alone. And it's not that I need/want a boyfriend, and it's not even about the flowers or the goofy teddy bears. It's just about the fact that I wish someone wanted to be like that for me. I know very well what it's like to be unwanted. And I never deserved that. No one does.

Now you don't have to go crazy, boycotting valentines day, making depressing tweets or status updates. Just calm down. It'll be okay.

This year, for once, I'm not gonna let myself be all "woe is me..." and everything. Yeah, tomorrows a day about love, but you know what else it is? It's Tuesday. Just another day in February. Another opportunity for growth.

This year, for once, I'm not going to try so hard to lower my expectations just so I won't be disappointed. I always do that. I always try to expect the very least out of everyone because I'm afraid of getting hurt. And I can't live my life like that anymore. I don't know if anything significant will happen tomorrow, (or the day after that, or the day after that) but I know that at the end of the day, roses or no roses, boy or no boy, I can go to sleep satisfied because I never lost hope.

Miracles happen everyday. I'm going to start having faith.

Never lose hope.

Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Sick in bed the past couple days, I'm ridiculously exhausted. I'm blogging from my phone cause I remembered we have to do that.. So yeah. Ready for work to start, I got a job at Dewey's Pizza. Training is in three weeks! I'm getting excited. Feeling really old though. Also have to start looking for prom dresses, too. So olldddd. Application opens up for Franciscan LEAD in a few days, crazy nervous that I won't get accepted. I want it SO bad. Just gotta take it one day at a time I guess.

I want soup.

The Human

There once was a human,
A human was he,
And everyone told him the way he should be.
Be different, they'll like you,
Fit in, stand out,
In the end he didn't know what they were talking about.
There were too many voices,
He couldn't find home,
So instead he ended up feeling alone.
Then the voices died out,
all but one.
It was silent,
Then came the voice of the Son.
"Don't you know that you're Mine?
And I'm lucky for that."
And then it got quiet, the human sat.
The human silenced the pain,
Told the demons to flee,
he said,
"Now I know it's just Jesus & me."
And The Lord took his sorrows,
And crowned him with glory,
And well, not to spoil the end of the story,
But everything was okay.

It Killed Her But She Said It

He said he didn't want her,
after all this time.
He said he's only human,
and humans change their minds.
"maybe later on" he said,
in attempt to slow her pain,
and she said "you're out of chances"
as the tears fell down like rain.
"just friends" was his suggestion,
as if she meant nothing now;
and she wanted to be there for him,
she just couldn't figure how.
"you really can't be there for me?
I thought you loved me so."
And it killed her, but she said it
"I'd love to let you go."

The Musick Game

Ha....
*checks email* *REFRESH* *REFRESH* *REFRESH* *REFRESH* *NEW CLUE!*

My team, team five, is in the lead as of now. YEEHHH BUDDY. I'm pretty stoked.
I'm on a team with Zeb Stambaugh (Rinaldi from Farewell to Arms) and Nicole Vasquez (), we are kicking butt.
Mostly Nicole though, she's a genius. This game has driven me mad though, I think I actually am becoming Catherine Barkley. Doin' some cosplay in class on Tuesday, Imma show up pregnant, this is going to be awesome.

#teamfive
#swag

I really shouldn't blog after nine pm

They should seriously make caffeinated Sprite... That would be amazing.

I have no idea what's happening lately.

My family, my friends, my relationships with certain people, 

I just don't understand. 

I'm glad its Christmastime, but it's a blessing & a curse

Because no one likes to be alone.

I miss summer. 

I miss the way I felt,

The way things were.

I didn't have regrets this summer;

It was utter freedom, pure joy.

I miss my best friend,

After this summer we haven't spoken much.

It's not very cool.

I'm so insanely bored, I think I might just fall over from complete nothingness.

Dunno why like four people randomly stopped texting me?

It feels later than it actually is.

Maybe everyone went to sleep.

Maybe the world's asleep.

Maybe I'm asleep.

Today was good.

Tonight, not so much.

I actually kind of wish it would end.

But I hate going to sleep feeling weird.

So Imma stay up, hoping something great will happen.

Might just watch a movie and drink some Sprite.

Wish it were caffeinated.

k,bye guys

As of lately

Up
Looking
Are
Things
- ♥ -

He totally provides.